Chapter 13: The Light of Understanding

The sound of a lightsabre ignited echoed through the small adobe room. Padme Amidala was immediately on her feet, her green lightsabre flashing in the dimness of a new morning. Without a thought, she parried a powerful thrust from another green sabre, turning and leaping over the bed that she had been sleeping in. The sizzle of her sabre striking that of another sounded through the dark before she knew that it had happened. She landed on the bed and catapulted over the person holding the other sabre with ease. She swung the sabre to block as she landed and was rewarded with a hiss as her blade cut too close to its mark.

Knowing instinctively that she had hit her Master, she extinguished the blade and settled it against her sleep clothes. She reached out across the space to encounter her Master only to have a strong arm land on her upper chest and push her back into a wall. Her Master's voice was low in the dark. "Never let your guard down, Padawan."

She swallowed against the strong forearm that held her, trying to catch her breath. "Yes Master."

"If this had been a real fight, Padme, in the amount of time that you let your guard down for, you would have been killed."

"I realize my shortcoming, Master."

The arm moved away from her chest, to land an affectionate hand on her hair. As the hand moved to leave, Padme rested back against the wall, turning in the blink of an eye to flash her sabre once again. She was immediately met with the other blade. A deep voice echoed through the room. "Good, Padme. You were awakened out of sleep, immediately ignited the sabre and were able to return parry and to move about enclosed spaces easily. You have learned. But we are at a standoff now. What will you do? Your opponent knows the Jedi arts. He knows your every planned and projected move."

Padme rose on the balls of her feet with ease, knowing that her sabre was not moving in the dark. She doused her blade quietly, not daring to breathe. Her opponent's blade did not waver. "A different approach, Padawan. But now you have returned yourself to a position of lowered defenses." The blade swept through the air, as the woman dropped to her knees in the dark. She rolled through the room, turning behind her attacker as he completed his swing to ignite her sabre. She swung the blade only to catch the other lightsabre at its junction of the handle and the plasma beam. The sabre sputtered momentarily and then died. She executed a salute and shut off her blade quickly. With a terse voice, she called for the light.

As the room ignited in a soft light, she saw her Master holding his upper arm with a grimace and at the mass of a partially melted sabre on the ground in front of him. She clucked her tongue and moved over to pick up the weapon with ginger hands and moved it to the table in the room. She approached her Master to look at his wound, her teacher continued in his lesson giving. "Never stop to ascertain the extent of injuries to your opponent, even if you know him or her."

Padme stopped the rest of her lesson with a gentle hand on his hurt, seared arm. She closed her eyes and pressed into his flesh with a sigh. Momentarily, the skin healed. Qui-Gon Jinn sighed with thanks for the tending of his injury. "Thank you."

"Yes, Master." The girl answered, moving to her cloak to wrap herself in its rough material in the cold morning.

The Jedi Master sank into the chair that was in the corner of the small room. The suns outside were just now peeking over the horizon throwing a blaze across the earthen floor. Padme moved to the window of the second story room and looked out over the newly awakening Mos Espa. Several vendors could be seen moving their wares toward the central square in the low light of the dawn. She leaned out the window to see Shmi Skywalker shaking the rug out of the door. As her long thin braid hung past her neck as she called to her friend, "Shmi! We didn't wake you, did we?"

Her older friend hung her head back, the knot of hair brushing the back of her neck. "No, Padme, we were already awake. A lot of noise you make, though."

"We shall try harder next time to be quieter." Padme brought her head back inside to look at her master. "Master, we should try to do this later in the day, I think."

Qui-Gon leaned back in the chair with a frown and answered lowly, "A need for defense does not often occur when you expect it, Padawan. I would be remiss in my training of you if I only approached you when you are ready for it."

"Aye, Master, I know." Padme turned, her braid flying around. "I know." Retreating toward the ladder that served as a way to get to the lower level, she called. "Ben, have you started breakfast yet?"

"Not yet, Padme." The Knight appeared in the lower level leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his bare chest. "How was the exercise?"

Qui-Gon moved to stand behind Padme, holding his burnt sabre in his right hand. "Another lesson on sabre repair is in order, I think, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon's plain canvas shirt hung loosely over his brown pants. "That makes two, Padme." He stated lowly, a half-smile appearing on his face. "I think that maybe I ought to build another one and keep it hidden."

"All you would need do is let me hold your arm, Master, and I could find it." Padme reached behind her head to pull at the large bun that held the hair not in the Padawan braid. Slowly she crossed to the bed, picking up her shirt that she had laid out the night before. With her back to her master, she pulled the sleeveless shift she wore over her head and pulled on the soft flowing material of her work issue shirt. She felt none of the bashfulness that she had possessed just months before when traveling with the Jedi. There was no place for privacy in the small room that her master and she shared, as dictated by the Jedi Code, and she had adapted as well as she could. Her and her master's sabre practice, their sleeping arrangement, their meditation times were the few things that they did that were recognizable under the old Jedi training code. The rest of their lives currently were created by the undercover existence that they struggled to maintain. It had been two lunar cycles and they were very deeply into contacting the remaining Jedi. Only two Jedi, a master and his padawan had made it so far to the desert planet, secreted away and delivered to Yoda.

"That is one part of your training that does not need work." Qui-Gon answered, looking back out the window while his apprentice dressed. "Your ability to delve into minds is formidable." A little too formidable, he thought. It had been a struggle to hide his feelings from her; their close physical relationship and living conditions only compounded the problem. He turned, leaning against the frame of the window to see Padme straightening her shirt and pulling on her hair knot. The Padawan braid was frayed, hanging askew. "Padme, come here."

The girl completed her morning dressing ritual and moved to stand in front of her master. She tilted her head back to look at the man, hidden partially in the shadows created by the suns' positions. Outlined as he was, Padme noticed yet again that he was a large man, capable of completely covering and enveloping her with no effort. His brown hair had been cut just a cycle before, in an effort to straighten it. "Yes?"

"Turn." He stated, pulling on her shoulders until she had her back to him. "Your braid is slightly messed; let me fix it." He smiled gently to her as she hung her head to allow him access. "Your hair is so heavy, Padawan, it is a wonder that it remains in this at all."

"Maybe we should weave more of your hair into it, Master." She said, her voice low from having her head hung. "It might change the texture."

Qui-Gon's hands momentarily stopped their actions and began again as his eyes narrowed. The time that he had spent going through the braiding ritual with her had been the hardest minutes that he had gone through in his life. She had had to cut her hair in that area, shearing its length to a manageable few centimeters. That had not been the hard part, he thought, as his hands deftly pulled the braid apart at the bottom and reweaved the last few inches. No, the hard part had been the girl sitting between his outstretched legs, mere inches from the juncture of his thighs, as he cut pieces of his hair to weave it into hers. At one point he had pulled too hard on her hair and her hand had landed on his upper thigh and curled into his muscles until the sting had passed. It was good that she sat with her back to him, he had thought at the time, as a blush of arousal had shot through him. He continued his ministrations to his apprentice on autopilot.

For her part, Padme was uncomfortable with her master's hands in her hair, almost as uncomfortable as she had been when her hands had been in his the night before, pulling it to cut it straight. She remembered the soft glow of the lamp reflecting off of his naked shoulders, broad and strong. Her fingers were buried in his locks pulling it straight, her lower body rested against his back. She had thought nothing of it, until Qui-Gon had groaned in what sounded like pain and she had leaned over his shoulder to ask what the matter was. His hands had been folded in his lap, crossed over his crotch. His eyes were closed, gently, not squeezed. It was his hands that drew her attention. They seemed to be hiding a secret, twitching almost nervously together. Sensing his agitation, she had laid a hand on his upper arm to ask his condition and was quickly rebuffed as the man moved his upper body away from hers. A terse "Padawan." had been uttered. She had gathered some information from him in that scant second. It consisted of white-hot heat and an image of her face with her hair unbound lit by soft light. The image had made her feel uncomfortable, like her clothes were too tight. She quickly had finished his hair only to bid him goodnight and to go to her bed.

Qui-Gon finished with her hair and patted her shoulder with affection. "Let's go get something to eat, Padme. I have to go to my `job' as early as I can get there today."

Padme turned to look at him with a smile. "Meditation tonight then, Master." She said cheekily. "As long as Watto doesn't send you back in exhaustion again. He really should be kinder to a man of your age."

"Imp." He rumbled loudly, "you have a distinct will to show me disrespect whenever you can." She smiled widely and moved to the ladder with speed and agility. "I know, Master. You always have told me that I need to excel where I am talented."

"Unbecoming of a Padawan, Padme." The Jedi answered, moving behind her to follow her down the rungs.

"There is a lot that I do during the day, Master, that is unbecoming of a Padawan, let alone a queen." She answered, moving to the kitchen area. Obi-Wan was bent over the cooking area with his fingers in a mass of dough. Shmi Skywalker, a youngish woman of thirty-five was standing near him, mixing a bowl of the Force knew what. She was a very close family friend of the Kenobi's. She lived in the safer section of Mos Espa and had come to their aid when a living place was needed near the central section of the town. She had known Ben since birth and was happy to accept him and those he held dear into her home. Childless, yet full of love, she treated both Obi-Wan and Padme as her own. "Good morning." Padme called cheerily, as she touched the woman's arm and smacked Obi-Wan on the back.

"Ouch." Ben's head shot up, and Padme had to remember that his braid was suppose to be missing. His hair was longer now, but still close cropped. "Qui-Gon is right. You do not act as a Padawan should in most instances."

Padme nodded with some sobriety. "That is good, Ben. If I did indeed act as a Jedi Padawan, our location and existence here would be given away. Jedi are a hunted breed now."

Qui-Gon added with a gruff voice. "She does show me respect in most instances, Obi-Wan. Just not when I expect her to. We are coming to an understanding, though." He nudged Padme with his arm to move her aside as he reached for some of the gruel that was a staple for food. He grabbed the bowl with a grace that betrayed his Jedi training even with the farmer clothing that he wore. Backing away from the table, he nodded to everyone with a smile. "I will see you tonight; must run, deliveries to make." With that, he hit the door to open it and stepped out into the light of the morning.

As the door slid shut, Padme shook her head. Qui-Gon had garnished a job as a droid and vehicle tradesman. He worked for a Toydarian across the city, and often found himself needing to do runs into the frontier to deliver parts and to deal with the locals. It was on these trips that Jedi that had been hiding would travel out to Yoda, hiding deep in the desert. Other times, he would bring parts, food, or medical supplies to the growing band of Jedi. His was an intrical part of network that had been formed. The unfortunate part of the plan was that he had to work in a menial, physical labor position with a boss that was immune to Jedi Mind manipulations. As they needed to conceal their existence, one of the few Jedi talents that they could use was the Jedi Mind manipulation. It had been a hard time for the Jedi.

Ben placed a hand on her shoulder with a sigh. "I need to talk to him, Padme. I will find out what is the problem." He stated. At Padme's nod, he turned to Shmi and smiled as he moved to the door himself. "See you both tonight."

Shmi sighed as the door slid closed, leaving the women to themselves. Padme poured herself something to drink and looked to her host with a smile. "Sometimes I just don't know about the two of them, Shmi." The girl's face became more serious as she drank. "How is Yorinda? I could not ask you last night."

"She is getting worse, I am afraid." Shmi sighed, resting her head on her hands. "And there is nothing for it. You cannot use your power to reverse the aging process, and I fear that her time is very near." Their talk of their mutual friend weighed heavily on the both of them. "She is prepared. It is children that I worry about."

"I know. I worry for them also. Albie and Magrie are only one season. Is there any talk on who shall look after them when the time comes?"

Shmi sighed with heaviness. "No one wants to take in two children that are not their own."

"Except us." Padme answered with feeling. "You and I pledged to each other that if no others could be found that we would indeed take the children in."

"And have you talked to the master about this?" Shmi looked at Padme who shook her head helplessly. "I think that both he and Ben would say that it is too risky of a time and place to be responsible for two children."

"As if they would be better alone." The younger woman hung her head. "Regardless of what Qui-Gon thinks, we should look into taking them in."

"Qui-Gon is your master, and you should show him some respect." Shmi reminded her. "He is very lenient in the way that he allows you to interact with him."

Padme nodded with a frown on her face. The night before had been bothering her, interfering with her sleep for most of the night as she listened to her master's heavy, calm breathing across the room. She knew that she needed to ask someone about what had happened with her, and she also knew that Shmi was the best person to ask. "Shmi, there is something that I need to ask, and."

Shmi smiled gently as she sensed the girl's discomfort, reaching for a plate. "Ask away, Padme, and don't worry about the reaction you will get."

"Last night.well, I cut Qui-Gon's hair."

"I noticed it was shorter today." Shmi nodded, "Padawans do that for masters, I understand."

"There was a time that he, well, kind of groaned. But he didn't seem to be in pain. I held his arm to see if he was all right. And the images that I received before he pulled away were, well.disturbing."

Shmi sighed as she watched the young woman over the rim of her cup. Padme's face was flushed with embarrassment. She asked quietly. "Disturbing in what way, dear?"

"Disturbing in that." Padme closed her eyes and recalled the images from the night before with shivers. "They were of me. And the feelings.the images they.were me. I was seeing myself through his eyes. And the emotion tied to it was physical.there was heat, searing, but not painful." She opened her eyes to look at the woman across the table. "The most disturbing is the feelings that I have from the images. I felt warm and uncomfortable, like my clothes didn't fit right."

Shmi laughed gently and lifted an eyebrow. "Have you ever wanted a man, Padme?"

"Excuse me?"

"The feelings that you have in response to his thoughts, they are similar to that of a woman that wants a man."

Padme shook her head, "I am afraid that I do not know what you are talking about."

Shmi leaned across the table to hold the hand of the girl. "I have watched you, Padme. I have seen you watch Qui-Gon move across the room when his back is to you. The one time that you performed first aid on him, on his upper chest when he removed his shirt, your hands shook. You smile at his frowns, and your eyes shine when he enters the room."

Padme shook her head once only to be cut off by her friend. "To feel as you do is understandable, Padme. It is not wrong. I know that you care for him, as much or even more so than you care for Ben. I know that it is in a different way, also. Do you think of him, holding you.kissing you?"

Padme blushed and tried to move her hand away from the woman only to stop and look at her with wide eyes. "I..that is wrong.he is my master. He is a Jedi Master."

"He is a man."

"Yes, he is, but a Jedi first. That is what they teach." Padme's voice rose in agitation, unable to control her emotions as her teacher had been showing her. "Besides, he looks to me as a child in his care."

"Not a child, Padme. He sees you as a woman. Trust me. His eyes follow you when you walk; they travel your body when you stand. It is true that he cares about you as his Padawan and his charge. But I feel, and mind you, it is only woman's intuition and not the Force, but I think he would ask you to mate not only for the sake of his desire, but as a way of keeping you with him."

"Mate?" Padme croaked.

"That white-hot heat you felt, Padme." Shmi picked up the girl's hand and shook it. "That heat is desire. Want. Need. A desire such as that, child, at that intensity can only end in one way that will extinguish it. Mating. Making love."

"Oh Shmi." Padme shook her head as a small smile moved to her lips. "You are sorely mistaken. Qui-Gon has no thoughts like that. I am too young in that manner."

"You are eighteen seasons. Well within the age of consent by Republic standards, if I remember correctly. And you are a beautiful woman, Padme. In the two lunar cycles that you have been here I have seen you blossom. You are assertive, not aggressive, confident. You have a formidable intelligence, and according to both your master and Ben, you have an amazing ability to use the Force. I have seen you heal with just fingers. No, Padme, I would venture to say that Qui-Gon Jinn has those type of feelings for you, and has had them for some time if intuition serves."

Padme hung her head as a blush crept up her neck to her face. Dreams had come to her in the depths of night. Dreams of Qui-Gon moving to her bed from his across the room. His bare chest and bare legs rubbing against hers as he slipped beneath the covers. His low, proud voice whispering into her ear, saying words of love as opposed to comfort. Those same lips moving to cover hers, pulling them apart to admit his tongue. His blue eyes in the dimness of the evening telling her that he would teach her in this also, that there was nothing to fear, nothing to regret. Strong, lean hands drifting low on her shoulders and sweeping to capture her breasts. His mouth recapturing hers to swallow her moan of pleasure. His bare thigh drifting to rest between her own. The shivers that the contact caused and not knowing why she felt so, just that it seemed to be how her body reacted to his. Shmi had hit too close to the mark with her talk of mating for Padme to feel comfortable, but truthfulness of feelings was taught as one of the first lessons to Jedi Padawans. She nodded slowly to the woman across from her with a frown.

"I have thought of him. But he is doing more than holding me, Shmi." Padme leaned back in her chair and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Her sigh of frustration brought a knowing smile to the other woman's face that vanished with the next sentence that came from the girl. "But I talked him, he is unable to mate, Shmi. He is forbidden to do so, with me or anyone else. No amount of wishing from me, or if you are right, from him also, would change that dictate. He would lose his stature as a Jedi Master."

"That is grave indeed, did you perhaps misunderstand him?" Shmi laid the cup down on the table with a sigh.

"No." Padme groaned, shifting on the chair as the image of her dream came back again. "But it is a mute point. Qui-Gon does not have these feelings for me. I would have sensed it." Wouldn't I have? She asked herself as she swung around to get into her work clothes.

Chapter 14: Secret Released

The clutter around the junkyard at Watto's was incredible. It reminded Obi-Wan of one of the many mazes that he had had to complete as a student in the Jedi Academy. He had many none-too-friendly memories of being in the medical wing after he did not complete the turns and the course in enough time and was hurt do to it. He listened carefully to the sound of hunks of plasma engines being moved across the ground and followed the noise to see his friend heaving a large piece of metal onto a ramp. Two smaller droids grasped the material and moved it farther up into the hold of the small carrier. Qui-Gon turned to lift another very heavy piece of metal, his brown hair flying outwards with the force of the turn.

The elder Jedi was shirtless, clad only in a pair of his brown Jedi pants. His chest, back and arms glistened with sweat and his hair was tied back more than usual. He stopped for a second to breathe deeply before returning to the task at hand. Sensing his friend behind him, Qui-Gon turned to squint in the morning sun.

"Ben, what brings you here? Looking for parts?"

"No." Obi-Wan drew near with a smile. "Watto is out right now. He isn't here. I just stopped by on the way to work to ask you what is wrong."

Qui-Gon bent to pick up two power packs and threw them to the droids who caught them and walked them inside. "What are you talking about, Obi-Wan?" his voice held a tone that the younger man had associated for years with displeasure.

Ben laid a hand on the man's arm to stop him from moving. "Yes, you do. Both Padme and I could feel your discomfort this morning when you were leaving. It was pretty unsettling. You closed yourself off from the both of us and we couldn't read or feel what was going on. It must be weighing on you heavily, whatever it is."

Qui-Gon sighed, moving to his shirt to wipe his brow. "Just thoughts, Ben. Nothing that is of any consequence." Seeing Obi-Wan's look of nonbelief, he turned away. "It has nothing to do with our plans here, something more personal."

Ben nodded, turning his head to watch for Watto. "It's Padme."

Qui-Gon shut off his brain as much as he could as he schooled his face. "Ben." he warned.

"I haven't missed the looks, Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan's voice was low and friendly. "It is almost as if you are afraid of her at times. She is simply a woman that is your Padawan. A friend. Your feelings for her."

"Enough, Knight." Qui-Gon roared, his back turned to his friend.

Obi-Wan stopped talking out of shock for a moment. His old mentor's voice had never rose to him in anger. It took him a minute to realize that it was pain and not anger. "What are your feelings for her?"

"Ben, please."

"You cannot maintain this level of shielding on your mind and your heart, Master." Obi-Wan reverted to his old way of addressing the elder Jedi. "You are shutting her out. And as a Padawan she needs to have those channels opened. One of the first things taught is for the student to have his/her mind open for the master so that interaction can take place. The same is said of the master; I know that your mind was always open to mine, especially in times of trouble. Padme told me yesterday that she has not been able to connect with you for several days, if not a half of a lunar cycle. That is not good. It could endanger the both of you."

Qui-Gon leaned forward on the pile of parts in front of him with a frown. He flexed his arm muscles as he saw the droids return to the top of the ramp. His eyes closed momentarily. "If I open my mind, Obi-Wan, it could harm us both as well. It is better if we maintain in this way. It will only be a few lunar cycles until most of the Jedi are here and we can remove from this place. Mace has sent word that inquires are going well, and the protection on Alderaan is still going strong. Master Yoda is safe. This particular situation will be finished relatively soon."

Ben strode the slim aisle with caged power. Qui-Gon could feel the frustration coming off of the man in waves. He turned as the younger Jedi approached him. "Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan grimaced seeing the stone expression on his friend's face. "Regardless of situation, you must open yourself. It is dictated in the code for a reason."

"I know." Qui-Gon sighed. "I know, Ben." Quietly he lowered his head, reaching into his mind for the proper words to say. "Once we regroup with the other Jedi in a controlled situation, I will ask that Padme be transferred to another master to complete her training."

"What!" Ben nearly shouted, before remembering to contain his surprise. "What did you say?"

"She needs another to fully train her. I am incapable of completing the job."

"Padme chose you, and you accepted. You knew of her talents and her abilities. You readily stood in front of us and accepted the mantle of her master. That is like a solemn oath to you. I was with you long enough to know that. And you are more capable."

"I have a liability, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon gripped the metal in front of him, until the sharp edge dug into his palms drawing blood.

"What are you talking about?" Ben lowered his voice, touching the man's arm gently.

Qui-Gon watched as one thin rivet of blood crept down the metal casing to fall on the ground. He knew that anything that he said to Obi-Wan would be kept in confidence and that the secret would be safe. He loathed releasing the words, as their voicing would give them life. "I love her." He stated quietly.

Ben stopped his breath for a moment to look at his friend, but before he could answer, the elder began to speak. "I love her, Obi-Wan. It is not something that I expected, nor looked for."

"Loving her is fine, Qui-Gon. You loved me as well." Obi-Wan began with a smile. "You love us as your Padawans, your children. Just because she is female."

"I do not think of Padme as my daughter." Qui-Gon stated in a low voice. "And there is a certain part of my emotions that directly stems from her being female." His blue eyes pinned Ben. "I cannot let her see my thoughts. They dwell on her too much. I hid my feelings from her in an effort to maintain a relationship with her that was close. I knew that if I let her know, she would have left us, or Force forbid, feel a certain sense of duty to me and remain because of that. Truthfully, I thought that I could control all of these thoughts and feelings; that I could be a master to her. But."

"Love is powerful, Qui-Gon." Ben sighed. "It can overpower the most noblest of intentions." He stopped talking to look at his friend for a moment. The elder's hands were clenched, one dripping blood. The normally alert and piercing eyes were closed tightly. "How deep does this emotion run?"

"Deep enough that I never want to lose her." Qui-Gon's voice was hoarse now. "Deep enough that, if I could, I would ask her to be my life mate. I feel like I awaken every morning just to see her smile. I like that she can spar with me, both with the sabre and with her words, as my equal. For one so young, and a trifle na‹ve, Padme is exceedingly bright." He screwed his eyes closed tighter with a sigh. "And her body, well. it is enough to keep me awake at night."

Ben closed his eyes in pain for his friend. He knew of Qui-Gon's order for celibacy, and he knew that this was one of the first times that the man had been in that situation of which he could not escape. In the past, there had been other women, beautiful women who had pursued the Jedi. His tall, broad body, strong- featured face and piercing blue eyes had done much to attract a variety of women. Beyond that, many would succumb to his natural caring and quiet personality partially hidden by his confidence. But Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon had avoided them, and the situation that arose from their attentions. He was sure that the man had slipped once or twice, if not more, but had been careful. One night of pleasure, if one were absolutely careful, would not lead to children. His talk of Padme, though, spoke of a long-term commitment. A commitment in a situation such as the one that all three found themselves in could cause even the most careful to falter in intention. The younger man reached out his hand and grasped the other's with strength. "You should tell her, Qui-Gon, regardless of your orders or what you assume that her feelings are."

A terse laugh emerged from Qui-Gon's mouth. Ben continued quietly. "Maybe you could look into having a relationship with her. There have been other Padawans and Masters that have had affairs. I always assumed that the policy to the council was on a do not ask, do not tell level. And I know you; you would not endanger her or yourself if at all possible." When Qui-Gon opened his eyes to make contact with his former student, Obi-Wan began again. "I think that if you told her, you would probably find her willing, and happy for it. You have not seen the looks and the smiles that she gives you. Nor have you seen the way that her eyes caress your body when you are not paying attention. She is hurt that you do not share with her, Qui-Gon, she has told me that much."

"And if the council ever found out, Obi-Wan? It would remove my title, and would separate us. I would lose the friendship and the love. Your knowledge of it would harm you also."

"They would not find out from me. I would protect the two of you." Ben stated strongly. "Besides, I think that your training of her would benefit by the truthful acknowledgment of the emotion. There is something else that I know about you, Master; you will train a person into the ground no matter what your feelings are towards him/her. She will not be the exception."

"And your intentions toward her?"

"What intentions?" Ben joked, seeing a grin light his friend's face. "I love her. But certainly not as strong as you, nor as deep. I think that you will find that Padme thinks of me only as her friend, confident, and brother. I would not let harm come to her, nor she let harm come to me. It is a mutually beneficial relationship. No, I think that this is one woman that you could not brush off to me."

Qui-Gon nodded thoughtfully. After a minute of quiet musing, he smiled. "When did you start to talk with such wisdom and strength?"

"I learned it from you." Ben answered. He turned toward the shop door to see the Toydarian owner flapping on his blue wings toward the two men. "I think that I should go now. I'll see you tonight."

Qui-Gon watched as his friend moved off toward the street, visible through piles of metal. Avoiding Watto, Qui-Gon continued to load the transport next to him, thinking about what lay ahead.

Chapter 15: Time of Reckoning

" Budgers."

Padme bent over the table to reach a mug. It had been left just out of her reach for a reason. For the second time that afternoon, the patrons of the bar were playing with her. Not only was she the blunt of their joke due to her height, but also because in her bent position her cleavage was open for all to see. She pulled the mug to her and stood, moving away from the table before the questing hands could find their mark. As she approached the standing bar in the middle of the cantina, her boss shook his head in laughter.

"You attract much attention, girl." The snout-nosed humanoid guffawed. "You are good for business."

Padme tilted her head in acknowledgment, loading up her hand tray for her next pass. There was still one more drink to be made and she turned to lean against the cool metal counter to view her surroundings. The interior of the cantina was cool and dark. The earthen floor was packed so tightly that dust did not float upwards. Various tables held lights on them, helping to alleviate the lack of natural lighting. There were patrons there from all corners of the Republic and beyond. The building was packed to its highest rafter. And Padme felt small in the midst of so much.

Her arm was pushed by the bartender to let her know that the last drink was done, and she turned to grab it. She cursed softly as her sleeve caught on the table and pulled her bodice a little lower. Her required shirt was low cut and strung together with thin rope. Its crisp white was outlined by the tight low vest that she wore. The pants that she wore were loose and rode low on her hips. It was not the costume of a queen, nor was it the customary wear for a Jedi Padawan, but it was what was needed. It helped her to fit in, to blend in. Her mind manipulations were not up to the master level as of yet, and she needed the extra help to hide herself in the crowd. Neither Obi-Wan nor Qui-Gon had ever seen her work clothes as she changed at work to avoid the comments. And she preferred to keep it that way.

"Table 27." The bartender barked, and Padme grimaced and moved off. It was only a matter of time until her shift was up and she could go home. She had had a meeting with one of the freighter pilots that were helping the Jedi to recover those missing earlier that day and now all that remained was to work out her shift.

"There you are, gentlemen, is there anything else that I can get for you?" she asked as she lay the drinks on the table. Her customers were Utilion, a clawed race that lived in the Outer Rim. Four hands reached for the various tumblers. The fifth reached for her, and pulled her onto its owner's lap.

"I don't know, pretty." The voice in her ear was high pitched, almost squeaky. "How much do you charge for a night?"

Padme waved her hands across her chest in front of the man's eyes with purpose. She waited to see if it would work. As the hands pulled at her hips, she guessed that it had not. "I do not charge for the night, for the hour, or even for the minute." She stated, calmly. "I am spoken for and I wish to remain that way. Now I must ask that you let me go; it is the end of my shift and I need to leave."

"That is right, you need to leave for my room." The Utilion laughed as she squirmed out of his hands and stood, pulling her shirt back around her. As she moved off quickly, he followed her with a laugh. "Maybe later, sweet."

Padme returned to the bar with a sigh and shook her head with a smile. It was the same every day.

"Padme!"

Startled out of her routine, the girl looked to the door to see a familiar female figure outlined against the door. Shmi stood in the light, searching for her younger friend. Padme could feel the worry coming off of the woman in droves and noticed the little girl that the woman had by the hand, and the one that she was carrying. "By the Gods!" Padme called, running to the door, leaving her boss to call after her.

When she reached Shmi, the older woman had tears in her eyes. "Yorinda."

Padme hung her head and turned back to her boss to explain that she needed the rest of the day off. Although the man was not happy, the sight of Padme with a crying woman and two small children helped decide the matter for him. He let her go with little fanfare. As she returned to Shmi's side, she reached out to take one of the children from her friend. Once they walked outside, the younger woman asked for details.

Shmi controlled herself as best as she could. Her hands shook, though, no matter how much energy that she exuded to maintain her composure. "Yorinda has passed. It occurred two hours ago. And the children, well, I could not leave them." Yorinda had been a friend of hers for years. Shmi had told the woman just the season before that she was crazy to have taken the two young children at her age. And now, the responsibility for the children had fallen to her by default.

"I thought something had gone wrong; I could feel it." Padme's voice was low and calm both of the children and for Shmi. "And as for the children, I think you did the right thing. We are all that they might possibly have in the galaxy and we should not turn our backs on them." The young queen tilted back the face of the toddler that she held with a grimace. The child, a girl, was covered head to toe in dirt. Her dark hair was matted and knotted, hanging long. Eyes between a hazel and a brown looked to her with calm acceptance and Padme thanked the Gods that the children were used to her and Shmi. "We should get them home and clean them at the very least. What has been done for Yorinda?"

"A fire will be constructed tonight." Shmi drew a deep breath and pressed on. "It is the way of her people. One is burned upon death." She bent and picked up the child that walked along side of her. "We should concentrate on the living."

"Agreed."

"What do you think that the master will say?" Shmi knew that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were home as the heat of the day had hit high peak and work was impossible. She had not stopped at the house since the occurrences of the last few hours.

"Whatever he pleases more than likely." Padme grimaced as the girl bumped her hip. "But he will see that there is nothing that we can do except this."

Padme crossed the threshold of the house with a grimace, wiping sweat from her brow. The child had fallen asleep during the walk and weighed heavily on her arm. But, Padme thought, it was a pleasant heaviness. The kitchen area was empty and she knew that the men were out the back, more than likely working on the speeder that they had purchased earlier that week. It had been in poor condition, but the transportation was needed in order for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to make the needed trips into the desert. It had amazed her that the both of them knew parts and how to fix various vehicles. She nodded to the door and looked to Shmi with a slight smile. "Do you wish to draw straws to see which one of us tells them?"

Shmi laughed lightly, the first of the afternoon. "I think that I shall. Should I worry more about Qui-Gon or Ben?"

"Ben. Most definitely Ben. Master will school his reactions more so than Ben." Padme set down her child and reached for the other to free up Shmi's arms. "I will start a cleaning solution for them."

"The pail is under the storage bin." Shmi called as she walked through the other door out into the joint courtyard that existed behind the houses.

Padme smiled at the two children as they sat on the table in front of her. They were twins, both possessing those strange eyes and a head full of mopped hair. Their gazes were wide and open, accepting her for herself. She reached out a small hand to cup both of their faces. "Let's get you cleaned up, shall we? Who wants to go first?"

Both twins pointed to each other, eliciting a laugh from the queen. She reached for the nearest twin and put her down into the pail that she had retrieved. It was a large metal container that was used for washing purposes for the household. A cleaning solution was made without water and placed in its interior. She began to ladle the solution over the child to wet her hair and began to untangle it. She worked her hands through the mass of tangles, giggling as the child reached to splash her with some of the contents. With a practiced hand, the girl sponged the rest of the child's body. When she went to rinse Ablie, she felt the familiar presence of her master in the room and turned.

Qui-Gon had been resting against the doorjamb of the house, his arms crossed over his chest. He had closed his senses off so that she would not feel his presence and had observed her as best as he could. His eyes trailed from the top of her braids, wound on her head to the bottom of her low-slung pants. When he did allow his presence to be felt, his Padawan latched onto it immediately and turned to look at him. It was at that point that his breathing stopped. Padme was clad in one of the most revealing shirts that he had ever seen; most of her skin on her upper half was visible. What was not visible was outlined by the tight leather vest that she wore. It accentuated her breasts and hips. His charge remained where she was, gazing back at him as the child next to her splashed her sister. "I hear that you and Shmi have adopted children, Padme." He spoke in a rough voice.

"I suppose that is the closest word to the action, Master." Padme spoke returning her attention to the child in the pail.

He moved closer, walking across the floor to grab a towel from the pile by the ladder. He reached out to ease the small child from the pail and wrapped it in the soft material. His own shirt had been removed when he and Ben had begun work on the speeder. Padme lifted the other child and eased it into the pail. She began to work again as the Jedi Master toweled the little tike. "It is not the best of times for this, Padawan."

The woman nodded. "I know that, Master. But Shmi and I are all that they have in life right now. I cannot leave them to an unknown fate."

"But their fate with us might be worse." The Jedi sat down on the chair, placing the wrapped child in front of him on the table. "Our existence is questionable, Padme. We cannot guarantee our survival."

"They would die in short order, Master." She turned to look at Qui-Gon as she ladled off the child's head. "I can guarantee longer than that. You must see that."

Qui-Gon moved behind Padme as she let the child splash in the pail. "I see that you are already attached. How will you complete your training while responsible for these two children?"

"It will be done, Master, I promise you." She leaned to stroke the child's head. "There has been little in life that I have been able to protect. As queen, everyone assumed that I needed protecting. I was responsible for decisions and actions, but always for the masses and rarely for the individual. I can do something for these children; we can." She sighed as she felt the man's arms snake around her midriff and pull her back against his chest. His head fit easily on top of hers and he did so with a heavy sigh. The closeness startled Padme, but it felt right, so she allowed the embrace. "Qui-Gon, we can help them."

"I realize that." He rumbled, turning his face down to brush the top of her head. "I know that. I just wonder at the amount of responsibility you are taking on your shoulders. We will all help you, but I feel that you think that this is your responsibility."

She sighed, moving her hands down to his and holding them. "Let me at least have someone to love and love me in return, Qui-Gon."

His throat closed off in emotional pain that his Padawan felt and grimaced. He had decided not to tell the woman about his `affliction', as Obi-Wan had started calling it, just as of yet. The deepness of her voice opened his spiritual eyes to the depth of feeling that she had within her. The wistful tone of the sentence swayed his intentions. There would be no harm in at least telling her, he thought to himself. "You already have that, little one." He breathed, ruffling her hair. His voice deepened as he dipped his head lower to kiss her neck. Padme leaned backwards, her head falling onto his upper chest in a sigh. His lips lingered for a moment, before he lifted his head to gaze down at her. Her eyes were closed and opened suddenly as she turned to face him.

"Master?"

"Qui-Gon, dear. Gods forbid that you should call me that when we are not training." His eyes were soft in the afternoon light. He tilted her face back to look her in the eyes. "First, lets discuss these children. I know that this is currently the only answer for the dilemma. I see no problem with keeping them here so long as you share the responsibility with the rest of us." He sifted his gaze to the children that were playing now with each other. "You have found my soft spot, Padme. Children are very dear to my heart. And they are so young."

"Exactly. We need to protect them." Padme breathed, resting back against his arms. Her frown brought a smile to the Jedi's face.

"And we will, even if it brings the wrath of Yoda down on us. We do what we must." He nodded seeing her smile. "I cannot say no to you."

"That is not the whole truth; you say no on a daily basis, Qui-Gon. Most of the time it is when we are training." Padme sighed feeling his large hands move to rub her neck. "Why are you touching me like this?"

"You don't like it?" Qui-Gon smiled lightly as the girl opened her mouth to sigh and not answer him. "Do you wear this outfit every day?"

"Yes, it is required." Padme squirmed as his hands began to make sweeping movements down her back. "I like this."

Qui-Gon moved his hands down to her hips to pull her against him with a gentle movement. He sighed as her wet hands landed on his chest with affection. "And you do not tell the truth, either, young one. You already have someone to care about that cares for you in return. Someone who cares about you very much." His head tilted until his lips were a mere centimeter away. "Even though it is against most of his training, he cares for you passionately."

"Of whom do you speak, Jedi." Padme whispered. "Ben?"

"Imp." Qui-Gon leaned his head further, capturing her lips in a gentle prodding kiss. Padme let her head fall back on her shoulders as the man deepened the kiss. For all the strangeness of the situation, she felt at peace; impassioned but at peace. As his lips slanted over hers at a leisurely pace, she let her lips fall open to admit his tongue. It caressed hers with care and exited to smooth over her lower lip.

Padme opened her eyes slowly as she felt Qui-Gon's hand caress her cheek. Her master's eyes were gentle and dark, gazing at her with some depth. He continued to stroke her cheek and sighed, "Ben told me that you are worried because I have not opened myself to you. Now you know why, Padawan. I could not let you see this emotion, this passion for you."

Padme's hand buried into Qui-Gon's hair with gentleness, massaging his scalp. She sighed in thankfulness to Shmi and her insight. "Shmi told me that you were attracted to me in a position other then my master. I did not believe her."

"And why not, Padme?"

"I am your Padawan, you student." She sighed as he closed his eyes and rested his head against his shoulders in abandon with her caresses.

"You are a woman and I am a man. That, in and of itself, is enough to cause attraction. It is like light and darkness. It matters not if you are my student, my friend, my charge or my.well, lets just say that it is enough to create a static energy."

"There is no sin in this feeling, Qui-Gon, it is natural, isn't it?"

"Yes. Very natural. Just forbidden for me, that is all." Qui-Gon lifted the woman to sit on the table next to the child. "There, we both would have received a cramp in our necks had we continued that way."

"The passion is not forbidden, Master." Padme pulled his head until their lips met again with less restraint. "It is children that are. I think that the council would allow you to feel. You are not the sort of man that should be alone; you have too much of a capacity for caring in you not to exhibit it."

"This is why I care for you, Padme." Qui-Gon laughed as the child in the pail splashed the back of his legs. "Wise and na‹ve wrapped in a beautiful package. Do you even know of the things that this entails?"

"I know that I care deeply for you. I know that I dream of you. That is all." Padme turned her face down, a blush creeping into her face. "These feelings are something that I have no experience with and cannot speak of with knowledge. But I know that I am willing to learn. Will it interfere with training?"

"I pray that it will not." Qui-Gon sighed, moving between her spread legs to rest. "It will open my mind to you, though. And I will not let you distract me when we are training." His hand fell to the fastenings on the vest.

She stopped him with a hand and a shake of her head. Her pulse was pounding and there was a rushing in her ears. Her breath was coming in pants, both from her own excitement and from the thoughts that flowed from her master. "The children."

Qui-Gon hung his head, as he felt one of the mentioned urchins grabbing his pants. "This is not the time, is it, Padawan."

She shook her head with a sigh. "No."

Qui-Gon nodded with severity. "We must start our evening meditation and sabre position practice. And I want to see how your mind manipulations are coming along."

"They need work." Padme admitted, reaching out a hand to catch the towel as it flew to her. She handed it to her Master with a smile. "Dry her please, I will find clothing for them."

She slid off of the table with regret and moved into the interior of the house, as Qui-Gon lifted the last child out of the pail with shaky hands.

Chapter 16: Lessons of a Padawan.

Qui-Gon sighed as he watched the two little girls throwing dust balls at each other. The dirt was flying high and fast. There would be a reckoning with Padme when she returned from work that evening as she had just bathed the children that morning. Shmi had gone to the market in town to see about items for dinner. Obi-Wan was out for the afternoon on a delivery mission for his job. The new speeder that he and Ben had refitted was getting its first run. He settled back against the wall with another sigh.

Time had passed quickly. They had been in Mos Espa for five standard lunar cycles now and still there were straggling Jedi appearing. There were noises being made from both Naboo and Corsucant, and it was known that the Sith were indeed trying to find them. Life had become more complicated due to it; a more careful monitoring of the area, communications and themselves had come. But, right at this moment, there was peace and calm. Both of his current charges looked to him as he telegraphed his thoughts to mind him once again. He had forgotten from past experience how children of the toddler age were more than likely to toddle away when he wasn't looking. Although it was harder to do so with a Jedi watching, it had been known to happen. Qui-Gon knew that well.

"Ablie." He said quietly, "Do not make your sister eat dirt. No."

The girl looked down at the sand and opened her fist to release it to the breeze. The Jedi smiled with appreciation. He had grown attached to the girls in the last three lunar cycles. They slept in the loft with he and Padme. The two Jedi had continued their unannounced swordplay occurrences only now with a twist: to not wake the twins. He helped her in the morning, between meditating and leaving for work, dressing and feeding the twins. Shmi would often watch after the girls in the afternoon, but today he was home and willing for the task. Though, as much as he found he enjoyed the time with the girls, he missed the woman that was like a mother to them.

He and Padme had fallen into a routine. Their relationship revolved around her training by mutual agreement. She wished to learn as much as she was able to as quickly as she could. He worried at times that she was driving herself to hard. Many times she would practice and meditate with him only to stay up most of the night with the girls if one was sick or fussy. One night he had awoken to see her asleep on a chair by the girls bed. He had risen and pulled her into bed with him because he was too tired to move her across the room. The next morning had been interesting with him waking her with kisses. A smile touched his lips as he sat, remembering the soft mewling noises that came from her during his ministrations.

Their romantic relationship had stalled. Qui-Gon was unwilling to take it to the next level. He knew that Padme had no history of relationships with men and he wanted to go slow for her. He also knew that she had no knowledge of the true depth of his caring for her. The images that telegraphed from his mind to hers were contained, muted, glazed over by his need to protect her from himself. Padme was willing to follow where he led, and so the relationship had remained at level that it was. She would often massage his shoulders, trailing kisses down his neck and shoulders, wrapping his hair, and kissing him morning noon and night. He had stolen glances at her as she dressed, reveling in her pale skin aglow in the morning sunfire. Touches had escalated. The other morning, when she had awoken in his bed, his hand had been grasping her barely concealed breast. The elder Jedi closed his eyes in exasperation, as he knew that his thoughts would be the end of him. He personally had told himself that he would await her elevation to Knight before pursuing this relationship. It was the issue of children, though, that bothered him. The point had been made and conceded that it was not the relationship, but the offspring that was forbidden. He knew that Padme loved children, as did he, and it was something that he had wanted all of his life. To give up the possibility of her having children simply to pursue a relationship with a Jedi Master almost three times her age was not advisable. She was of royal blood, and as such, needed to retain her ability to bear children to pass on the ruling line. He was the son of a street peddler arisen through good luck of talent to the level of Jedi Master. It was this stumbling block that Qui-Gon found he could not ask her to hurdle. So he relied on his restraint and control to get them through. He would not, could not lose the closeness and caring that passed between them for a lack of control on his part.

Ablie threw dirt at the Jedi to gain his attention. Qui-Gon laughed a snort and rose to pick the girl up from the ground. "Just like your keeper, you; always showing me disrespect." Ablie reached out to give and receive a hug from the large man and laughed as he spun her and replaced her next to her sister. Magrie grinned and threw another handful of sand to her sister. "Enough." He stated, transmitting a thought of displeasure to the two girls who stopped out of being startled by the power, rather than obeying it. This time he picked both girls up, and carried them under his arms into the interior of the house.

Shmi had only just returned from town, a basket of vegetables under her arm. She grinned as Qui-Gon jostled the two girls, sending them into fits of giggles. He nodded to Shmi and grinned sheepishly. "They enjoy their sand games a little too much, I think, but it is enough to keep them occupied."

"Qui-Gon, for a Jedi Master, sir, you have a tremendous soft spot for children." Shmi turned to the sink with a sigh, removing the food from its container.

"This is why I rarely take a Padawan, and when I have taken one, I store up my adoration of their childish ways to release it when they are older." Qui-Gon sighed checking the time device on the wall. "What was the time that Padme said she would be home?"

Shmi shook her head with a grimace. She hoped that Qui-Gon would not try to delve into her mind about Padme too much; there were things that she knew that she did not need to reveal to the Jedi. She was thankful that he was currently more involved with the children than with her and she used that as a way to answer untruthfully. "She said she would be a couple hours later tonight than usual."

"Ouch." Qui-Gon set Ablie down while trying to extract Magrie from his hair. The girl had decided that his ponytail was something to try and remove. "Now, now, Mags, someday you will have hair of your own to pull back in a tail; you do not have need of mine." He set the girl down next to her sister and pulled out several soft cushions that he had Padme practice her grips on and placed them out on the ground in front of them. "Play with these, you two and leave an old Jedi in peace."

Turning to Shmi, he grinned at her back. "I know you hide something from me, Shmi. Do not try and fool me. What was it that Padme is really doing today?"

Shmi hung her head in defeat; she should have known to stay away from the house until later. Qui-Gon could tell something not usual had happened and that it bothered his friend greatly. He could tell by the quiver to her hair knot that she was either very upset or very afraid. Using the Force, as he did not like to do on those who were his friends, he delved into her mind to find the source of her agitation. Images flooded his mind of Padme and Obi-Wan kissing the girls goodbye in the early morning and kissing Shmi as they handed her the children. Padme telling Shmi that she would return late after the matter had been dealt with and not to mention it to Qui-Gon.

"By the Gods!" the elder man said. "Where have they gone?" He stepped to Shmi, turning her around by her elbow. "What have the two of them done?"

"I do not know, Qui-Gon." Shmi could not meet his eyes as they stood next to each other. "She mentioned Master Yoda, the council, and a certain matter that needed to be dealt with in respect to Naboo. They were to make the trip into Yoda's compound and return later today."

"They should know better than that. The outer territories here are crawling with indigenous scavengers and fighters. The Sith have been sighted here occasionally, also." Seeing the look of horror on the woman's face, he amended, "If they reach the compound, they will be fine. It is extremely well hidden and protected; there are enough Jedi there now to adequately defend themselves and they keep a constant vigil."

Shmi nodded and seeing his anger backed up a couple of meters. It was true that she never saw the man angry or upset. His eyes were sparking blue fire and his mouth was a tight line. He continued, walking back across the floor to the children. "I only hope that they are safe."

Padme held on as Obi-Wan took a canyon turn at top speed. The mid morning sunfire was brilliant and burned the eyes and skin. Her Jedi cloak over a pair of plain brown pants and white shirt did little to cool her. She was thankful for the constant airflow across her skin. Her hair flew out behind her as they skimmed the desert floor.

"How much farther, Ben?"

Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow. "Just keep your eyes out for trouble. Let me do the driving."

Padme sat half turned for a moment, facing the back of the speeder. There was no one following them. Suddenly, Obi-Wan took a ninety degree turn into a canyon. As they passed the outer walls, Padme felt their speed lessen and stop. As she turned, she saw a collection of hollowed out caves in the rock face, creating almost a circle around an open area-courtyard almost. Climbing from the speeder, she saw a large stone in the center inscribed with the crest of the Jedi. Ben nodded to her, as he pulled his cloak about his head and moved to earthen steps cut in the side of the cliff face. No other beings could be seen around the circle of caves, giving Padme a feeling of loneliness. She could sense the other Jedi, their essences drifting to her across the arid air. She followed Ben's ascent; her eyes even with his boots. "This is the camp?"

"Aye, it is, Padme." Ben's voice drifted down to her. "They have worked hard to give it some of the old gracefulness of the Temple and yet keep it easy to defend. There is a back way out, between those outcroppings of rock." He nodded to the back of the circle. "Yoda's audience chamber is at the top of these steps."

"It will be good to see Master Yoda again."

Ben stopped for a second to eye the girl with disbelief. "You really haven't been around him much, have you? Other Padawans tremble when Yoda calls them to him. I always did."

"And you and Master Qui-Gon were always in trouble if I have listened to the rumors correctly." Padme pushed on his rear to get him moving again. "Master Yoda simply needs to speak to me about a situation that has arisen, about my training, and another more personal matter. I have no fear of him, or of the situation."

Ben shook his head and continued up the steps. At the top, he pointed to a lone cave, and stepped aside with a whispered, "I will be waiting for you below. Good luck."

Padme grinned at him and pushed into the cave's darkness with the bravery of the very young. Inside, once her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see three elderly Jedi, two of which she recognized from helping Qui-Gon spirit them out to the camp. Yoda sat near them on a small cushion, his walking stick poking gently at the sand. "Enter, Padme Amidala."

Padme crossed the floor to stop in front of the Jedi her hands tucked deep into the sleeves of her cloak. She bowed upon stopping at a decent distance from her masters. "Masters."

"Training you are with Master Qui-Gon, young Padawan?"

"Yes, Master Yoda." Padme looked to the other two elders, only to see that they were looking to Yoda. She respectfully turned her full attention to the ancient Jedi.

"Completed your lessons, have you?"

"Those which he has taught, yes, Master."

"Good, when your training complete, return you will for your trials. Soon, this should be." Yoda moved his stick in the ground. "Then, return you shall to Naboo. A throne unseated remains a throne open to evil."

"I thought as much, Master." She hung her head again in deference to his wisdom.

"Done much you have, young Amidala. Only two seasons have passed. Much you have accomplished. Much you have grown, and return you shall to rule your father's throne." Yoda nodded, lowering his voice. "But your future is clouded. A child I see, with darkened hair and strange eyes. This child will be your next ruler. A child you have adopted."

Padme opened her eyes wide and nodded. A glimmer of surprise sparked for a moment before she extinguished it. "Twins I have taken in with the others, Master. Twin girls, both parentless and alone."

"Of noble heart," one elder said leaning across his chair arm. "This is very unforeseen."

"Unguessed it is not." Yoda answered. "A burden you have taken, Amidala. Unable you will be to complete this task."

Padme hung her head, biting her tongue to keep from answering. Yoda pounded his stick on the ground with force. "An answer you have. Speak you will."

"They are but children, Master. Young and helpless. I could not leave them to a sure fate of death if I was able to help them. I am not alone in this, Shmi Skywalker, Master Qui-Gon and Jedi Kenobi all have taken them in also." Padme kept her head down.

"The future remains unchanged, problems will arise. Children it entails." Yoda banged his stick again. "A relationship with Qui-Gon you have started. Cares for you he does."

"And I for him." Padme answered lowly, her head remaining down.

"Forbidden it is for him. Children were never."

"And children shall never be born to him." Padme interrupted, knowing that her impertinence was against her training. She hung her head to continue. "With respect, Master Yoda. Forgive my outburst. Master Qui-Gon has not mentioned his wish for children or carnal relations to me. I can only assume that he does not wish that. I know that he cares for the children in our charge as though they were his own, and I sense contentment in him from that. His order was to remain childless, was it not?"

"Yes, childless he was to remain. No child from his loins shall be born." Yoda eyed the girl with impatience. "A relationship with you is not forbidden, Amidala. It is not advisable. Distract from missions it would. A time of reckoning is upon us. His mind unclouded must remain."

Padme nodded gently, sensing the peacefulness of the Force in her, easing away her anger. "I understand, Master Yoda. End this relationship is what you wish."

"It is for the best, child." One of the other masters answered gently. "It will ease the pain in the future."

Padme nodded again, keeping her head down. Yoda eased his gaze and frowned. "You may leave, young Amidala. Complete your training and leave Master Qui-Gon. May the Force be with you."

Turning with grace, the girl moved to the entrance of the cave with a steady pace and stepped out into the light.

"What!"

Ben turned to stare at her as he slowed the speeder. His brown cloak was billowing around his shoulders in the powerful wind. Padme smiled lightly as she reached over to push the cloak out of his face. "What did you say?"

"They have told me to end this relationship with Qui-Gon. Not that it is a very involved one. They fear for my ability to `cloud his mind'." Padme turned forward again to stare out at the unchanging landscape.

"And you are okay with this." Ben stated in return, a look of disbelief on his face as he slowed the speeder to a stop and turned to face her.

Padme sighed as her friend's hazel eyes bore holes in the side of her head. She was not okay with the order. Although she and her Master had not engaged in anything questionable up to this point, she had always hoped that it would blossom. Images of a morning a week before filtered into her consciousness. She knew that it remained close to her mind mainly because she knew that he thought of it often also. The morning had been brighter than she remembered when she came towards consciousness. A light tickling was moving across her torso and latched onto her breast. As she opened her eyes, she was affronted with her master's shining blue ones. Next to her leg, she could feel her master's cock throbbing through the sheets that wrapped her. His lips had been caressing her chin; his hand lay on her breast. "Good morning." He had muttered in low tones. His lips gently prodded hers open allowing his tongue to inch between them in a slow move. She had been unable to breathe as images of him over her and in her had assaulted her mind from his. In the background she could hear a soft mewling noise and realized it was coming from her own mouth. He had pulled back, moving his hair from her face. "I cherish you, little one. So beautiful." His hand had trailed across her cheek. They had lain there for several minutes, gazing at each other before her hand had moved to his thigh. Qui-Gon's eyes drifted shut with a groan and he moved so that he was more on top of her. "You will drive me insane, Padme." Quiet cries from the girls' bed had interrupted them from continuing their actions. Both had spent the first ten minutes out of bed with red faces and trembling limbs.

As she turned her face to Ben, he could see that her eyes were filled with tears. "No. No, I am not okay with this, Obi-Wan. I."

"You what." Ben leaned closer, rubbing her shoulder.

"I think that I love him.not.." she shook her head and lowered it. "Not like a padawan is suppose to love a master, like you felt for him. It is more like, I don't know.. Finding a waterfall that no one knows about, or a new type of very pretty flower. Or, on the other hand, like being on an adventure ride at the carnival on Corsucant, all butterflies and jitters. Strange but wonderful."

Ben nodded gravely with a slight smile. "I have it on good authority that his feelings are very similar."

"Then I can't take it away from him." Padme whispered forcefully with a grimace. "He deserves this. He deserves love. It doesn't seem like he has had enough of it in the past."

Ben sat back against the seat with a sigh, his hands falling to his lap in a sign of defeat. "It has been this way all of the time that I have known him. He makes deep and meaningful friendships, stays loyal to them, gives of himself to the code and his study of the Force and yet.remains lonely and apart. He takes his Jedi Mastership with deep commitment. To lose it would be devastating to him. But you are right, he needs that depth of feeling once in his life."

Padme sighed, reaching out to hold Ben's hand. He squeezed it in return with affection. "I cannot take his Jedi Master status from him either, Obi-Wan. It is a thin line that I walk. Take away a man's persona, his reason to be who he is, or take away a feeling that can breathe life into another. Had I known of his feelings prior to my being accepted for training, I would not have remained. It would have saved the both of us this pain and decision."

"And it would have been bad for him, Padme. He treasures you, as a friend, as a fellow Jedi and as a love. He might be one to admonish you, to chastise you and to hound you for your training, but I have never seen him so taken with someone. I do not even think that he knows completely what it is that he feels, as alien as it is to him." He turned to look at the girl with a smile. "No, the Force has a plan. It has kept us all together for a reason. I think that it still has more planned. We just need to be calm and accept its will."

"You sound like Master Qui-Gon." She said quietly. "You had better get us going. I have a feeling that he knows where we have gone and will be very angry upon our return."

Chapter: 16B: Force the Hand of Fate

As the speeder pulled into the back of the community courtyard, Ben could see that the lights were on in the dwelling. The lights were out in the upper level indicating that the children were in bed and hopefully asleep. He nudged Padme into full wakefulness and waved her to the door. The remainder of the trip home had been uneventful and straightforward. He stopped the speeder and moved to help her unload some of the books that had come back before he felt the displeasure emanating from his former Master. Turning he saw the man outlined against the door. His face was in darkness and was unable to be read easily.

"Obi-Wan. Shmi is two doors down at Matria's for the night. You are to join them."

The voice was hard and cold as it carried to their ears. Ben made eye contact with Padme and grimaced. She laid a hand on his arm to let him see that her mind was free of fear and anger. "It will be okay, Ben."

"I will talk with you tomorrow, Kenobi." The voice rejoined again in the darkness.

Ben turned to look at his former master with a narrowed eye expression. "She did not do this alone."

"I know. Like as I just said, young Knight, I will talk with you tomorrow."

Ben moved off slowly, his pack slung over his shoulder. He scrapped his feet against the packed stone and as he reached the other door, he turned to see Padme and Qui-Gon faced off a mere meter from each other. He knocked and was lead inside with little fanfare.

Qui-Gon waited until Ben was gone until he moved aside to let the girl into the house. She walked past him to lay her pack and the books on the table in the kitchen with a heavy arm. She could feel his displeasure and another, more powerful, unnamable emotion across the room. She waited, folding her arms in the cloak and turning her face downwards in respect as befitting her training.

"Why, Padme."

"Master Yoda called to me, Master." Padme kept her face turned down. "It was a summons that I could not ignore."

"That is true. But to keep it secret." Qui-Gon's voice was deeper and rougher than she had ever heard it.

"We thought it best, Master. Things that were discussed were not of the caliber that required your attendance." She sighed, lifting her eyes.

"They talked of your returning to Naboo." He released with a scratchy voice. "And they talked of our relationship, am I right?"

"Yes."

"And.?"

"Master."

"Answer the question, Padme. What did you agree to that has you upset?" When she did not answer he approached like a tiger on the prowl, reaching her and grasping her chin to look at him. "You agreed to leave, didn't you. You agreed to end this relationship."

She did not say a word, but remained steady under his gaze.

"Didn't you?" he asked, grasping her chin harder.

She nodded slightly with a sigh. Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment in pain and opened them to stare at her. She was incredulous to the depth of feeling and pain that she saw in them. He frowned with a vengeance and moved toward her again. Taken by surprise, the girl backed up against the table. The Jedi moved so that her back was bent slightly to keep eye contact with him. His mouth descended with no warning, crushing her lips to his. She opened her mouth to protest and he nipped on her lips to silence her.

"Quiet." He rumbled, moving his lips down her neck. "I do not know what they said to you, Padme. Nor do I care. But if you think that you can walk away from this, from what we have had to go through for the last two seasons to get to this point, you are mistaken. You can't walk away anymore than I can from you."

His lips encountered the white shirt and her cloak. He reached up a hand to pull on the fastenings of both, allowing them to fall away from her body. She sighed as his fingers helped their fall. They were gentle and careful of her skin, in direct contrast to his current mood. He sighed with a knowing smile. "I would never hurt you, Padme, never. Not in anger, not in retribution. It is not the Jedi way nor is it mine as a man." He moved back to let the shirt fall open and she gasped as he dropped to one knee in front of her to latch onto the nipple. "Oh.."

Padme grasped at his hair to find that he had placed in a low bun to restrain it. She whimpered as his lips pulled on her insistently and with veiled restraint. "Qui-Gon. We shouldn't."

"I do not care, Padme. They want to remove you from me. And you have accepted their terms. I cannot let you go without letting you see how much I love you, without me showing you. I have restrained myself for almost a season from doing anything to you.and now." He returned his mouth to the breast as the other caressed her freed breast. Her head fell backwards as she tried to steady herself by holding his head.

"I do not want to leave." She whispered. "They say that I will cloud your judgment, and that."

"Shhh." Qui-Gon rose to his feet to press a hand against her mouth. "It does not matter, Padme, any of it. Just live in the here and now, let the future take care of itself."

He picked up the girl in his arms and moved to the downstairs bedroom. " The Force has plans for us, young Padawan. It would not have kept us together, kept us alive and healthy and help to flame this passion between us if it was not its will. I have no doubt of that. I am acting on my feelings now." He placed her down in the large bed that Shmi sometimes used and looked down at her with barely restrained lust.

"As a good Jedi should." Padme answered, gazing at him with interest.

"Yes." He smiled, "As a good Jedi should." He removed his utility belt and his waist tie in short order. His outer tunic and inner tunic were shed rapidly to join the clothes on the floor.

"Qui-Gon, I.."

He could sense her unease. He sat on the bed to remove his boots. "Padme, as you said before, there is no sin in this emotion. I only wish to show you how deep this extends for me." His calm exterior had returned in some measure, but there was still urgency to his actions. "I will teach you in this, as I have in everything else."

She laid a hand on his arm as he placed his boots on the floor. "But this is the forbidden."

"You still have much to learn, Padme." He stated, stretching out next to her to tease her breast. "Regardless of what the council or the elders say, I will do what I must. And I have thought about this today while you have been gone. Love can never be evil, Padme and nothing evil can come from it. I have been holding back out of fear, and as we say, `a Jedi can never act out of fear'. So long as you allow it, I will act out of love. I want to make love to you, Padme. It is something, that even if you leave, they can never take from us. Understand?"

"Yes, Master." She rejoined, smiling at his displeased expression. "I understand. And, as far as I know, I want this. Regardless of what the council says, I want this. But your status.."

"I am and always will be a Jedi Master, young one. They can call me otherwise, but they can never remove my training and skills from me." He bent to kiss her mouth forcefully, moving his leg between hers. Pulling back, he placed a hand in her hair. "Enough talk of dictates and orders for this night, Padme."

She smiled, reaching for his head to pull him into another kiss. His mouth slanted across hers with leisure and with passion. She eased her tongue to his lips tentatively; her first time of being the least bit aggressive. He moaned and allowed the caress, opening his lips to allow her inside. Their tongues dueled gently for several moments, and his hand drifted to her hip to squeeze and pull her closer. Qui-Gon sighed as he felt the material of her pants beneath his hands and pulled back to remove them from her. He stripped them off of her body as she lifted her hips off of the mattress. His eyes watched the movement of her pelvis with interest and he stifled a groan with difficulty.

Padme lay against the mattress, her hands free, clenching in fists. The images that came to her mind from his were wicked in nature. Sweat soaked bodies and sheets, moans and sighs, tangled hair of two colors mingling on the stark whiteness of the mattress.. "Qui-Gon."

He had lifted a leg, to run his hands down its smooth surface. She moved her hips in agitation, almost gyrating them. His mouth followed the path, his tongue tracing the line of her well-defined muscle. Her other foot was in his lap and she wiggled her toes against him, delighting in his moan. She could feel the heat and length of him through the fabric. "Qui-Gon, please."

He received the image of him undressing with a smile and rose to pull off his pants quickly. He kept his back turned to the girl as the fabric fell past his rear and to the ground. She appeared to be ready for this step, but he could feel her apprehension of seeing a man naked for the first time. The fact that he was erect and more than ready for entrance would add to her unease. He turned slowly allowing her to take in his appearance while trying to memorize her as she lay.

Padme kept her eyes on his face for a moment before moving her eyes down his body. She had seen her master several times without his shirt; she had always enjoyed his broad chest and shoulders. They were strong and powerful, yet not completely overbearing. Hair dotted the muscles, gaining in number until they traveled down his abdomen. His arms lay at his side; his fists clenched. Her eyes alighted on his manhood, eager and swollen, large and somewhat intimidating. She held back her fear and continued her gaze down his legs, across his muscled calves and thighs to his well-shaped feet. Once the examination was complete, she returned her gaze to his face.

Qui-Gon had felt the glimmer of fear that she projected upon seeing his anatomy. He had never had complaints in the past as to his size or to his usage of the organ, but he knew that she was a virgin and innocent in many ways. He had no wish to hurt her. "Padme."

"It is all right, Qui-Gon," she smiled gently, "I know that you will never hurt me if at all possible. And I am not totally without knowledge here. Handmaidens and friends have ways of knowing of these things and passing them on. I know there will be pain."

"Aye, there will be, little one, and there is nothing for it." He answered gruffly. He again climbed into the bed, moving her over so that his body could stretch out. "But I will try and alleviate it as much as I possibly can." His hands moved to her breasts again, pulling and rolling the nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. His lips attached to the side of her neck, tasting and nibbling on her skin. She moaned and moved her hands to his back. Qui-Gon moved his mouth back to whisper in her ear. "Yes, Padme, touch me, explore."

She sighed as she moved her hands down his back. His mouth continued its assault, moving around to suck at her breasts again. His hand, now freed, continued down across her stomach to the juncture of her legs. He groaned as he felt the coarseness of her hair, covered in a slippery evidence of her arousal. The groan turned to a growl as she pulled the knot out of his hair to allow it to flow freely. Her hands had drifted lower to cup his buttocks in a loose grip. She could feel the muscles flexing under her hands and sighed again. "Qui-Gon, let me touch you like you touch me."

"I don't know about that, little one. I do not think that my control can take that." He laughed, raising his mouth to lick at her lips. He moved his hand into her curls with gentleness. One lone finger pressed up against her entrance and pushed into her. He was slow and achingly attentive to her facial expressions as he eased within. Padme gasped at the feeling and clenched her muscles. "Easy, love, easy." He whispered. She nodded, relaxing instantly. It did not hurt, but rather felt intrusive. He sighed when his finger reached its hilt. Her interior was white hot, wet and incredibly tight, even on his lone digit. She was a very petite woman, and he wondered at the logistics of the act soon to come. Shaking his head, he moved his thumb to the bundle of nerves hidden in her curls and began to sweep it across its surface. "We are going to have to work on this, I'm afraid." He whispered. "By the Gods, Padme, you are tight."

"Is this a bad thing?" she asked, gasping as his thumb circled and his finger began a thrusting motion.

A snort of laughter was heard from her master before his lips fell to hers again in a powerful kiss. "No, love. Most men would give their eyeteeth for one as tight as you. It will be incredibly pleasurable for me, no doubt, but exceedingly painful for you." His lips moved to her neck again, as she moved her hand down to his to feel what his movements were. Her fingers curled around his. He smiled seeing the look of awe on her face. His control was intact still, as he watched her face with love and adoration.

He withdrew his finger, as it became easier to move it and replaced it with two. Padme groaned at the new sensation and closed her eyes. Her breath was coming faster, her chest heaving. Qui-Gon allowed a thought of utter passion to cross their connection and she groaned simply from the thought. He smiled, as she grew even more wet and looser. He began to whisper to her, wanting to use his voice as opposed to his mind to make it more tactile. "I want you, little one. I have dreamt of this for so long. I want your passion. I want to be your first, and only."

Padme moaned as he pushed a third finger within. She moved her hand to graze at his outer thigh. He continued in a low rumble. "I love you, Padme."

She opened her eyes as she moved her hand to his shaft, watching as his eyes slid shut in an effort for control. Her eyes brightened as she encircled his width, touching the head and drawing a slow easy fist down his length. She marveled at the hardness that she felt and at the throbbing that became more evident. His fingers increased in speed, drawing a moan from the both of them. He swallowed once and opened his eyes. She gasped at the amount of passion that she saw in them. "Padme, I need you now.it has been too long."

She smiled gently, cupping his face. "You have too much control, Jedi. Show me what I need to do."

Sweat poured down his face as he moved to kneel between her thighs as he spread them. "Nothing, dearheart. Let me know if the pain is too bad. I will show you this, but I expect you to learn quickly." He placed her spread thighs on his muscular ones, tilting her pelvis upwards. He had wanted to taste her, but knew that she would more than likely tense up. He ran an open palm over her entrance with a grimace. She was slippery and her wetness covered his hand. "You do want me, don't you?" he asked without expecting an answer.

She sighed as she watched him grasp his cock in his right hand and ease it into her entrance. His other hand grasped her hip, keeping her still as he could. Her eyes opened as he entered. It was more intrusive than his fingers, wider, and more insistent. Qui-Gon eased forward on his knees as he sank deeper into her depths. He rightly assumed that all of her physical training and her lifestyle had broken her barrier prior, but he wanted to be as gentle as he could. He gritted his teeth as he felt centimeter by centimeter the parting of her flesh to allow him inside. Padme gasped in pain as he reached halfway and he stopped bracing himself on his hands. She grasped at his forearms and swallowed. She could see his love and caring through his mind. Qui-Gon kissed her forehead with gentleness, betrayed by the shaking of his arms in restraint. "Think about my love, dear." He whispered.

She nodded, allowing him to continue inside. It was a slow process as he used most of his Jedi control to make it extra slow. Once he was buried to the hilt, he collapsed over her, trying not to overwhelm her with his weight. Padme was gasping in a mixture of pain and pleasure. "I think I feel you in my belly." She laughed, eliciting a groan from Qui-Gon.

"More than likely you do, dear." He answered a catch to his voice. "Let me know when you are somewhat used to me, Padme, I will try not to move until then." He closed his eyes in pain as she grasped at his back. Her hands reached up to pull at his hair. She smiled at his pained expression. "It does not hurt, Jedi."

Qui-Gon opened his eyes to smile at her. " A lie, Padme. I can feel your pain. But I cannot remain like this forever, love. A man must move."

"Then move." She kissed at his upper chest. "It will not kill me."

He groaned as her hand touched his hip and he pulled back to ease back in slowly. Her interior was incredibly tight and hot. It made him wonder for his stamina. He moaned as he pulled back out and pushed in again. She had placed her head back on the mattress and it was rolling from side to side in pleasure now. Little sighs were emanating from her mouth as she grasped at his back. "It is so large."

He groaned in answer and sped up his movements. He bent his head back on his shoulder as his hips began a constant pistoning motion. Padme could feel the mattress under her begin to buck in time with his movements. Soon, his hips began to rock constantly without his completely pulling out. She was still gasping in mild pain, as his movement became more forceful. She arched her back as a slight circling motion began in his hips to join his thrusting. Growls were coming from his throat along with her name.

Suddenly he stopped. She muttered a protest, only to be pulled into a seated position on his thighs. Her hands landed on his shoulders as he spread his legs to accommodate her. He immediately began to lift her and lower her in time with his thrusts. Padme's head fell back, her hair falling against her back and on his thighs. He took the opportunity to latch onto her breast, bending her further back. His groans now occurred with every stroke.

Padme grasped at his shoulders as she felt an unfamiliar sensation building within her. It was strange, almost as if a wave were picking her up out of the water. His voice was strangled as he lifted his head away to groan, "So good, so hot."

She began to shake, needing to ask him what was happening. He smiled gently; slowing his thrust just a fraction. "You are coming, dear Padme." He sighed, lifting her and almost dropping her on his cock.

"Where am I going?" she gasped, pulling at his hair. He didn't answer as a wave of pure pleasure enveloped her and she cried out. She shook as he growled and moaned, and turned her to the mattress again and began to pound into her. Within seconds he cried out her name and had one final thrust. She felt the warmth of him spilling into her.

As they lay entwined, she buried her face into his chest with a smile. "I love you, Lianim."

He smiled gently and eased off of her, gently withdrawing. "Am I the forgotten one to you?" he whispered.

"No." she sighed, wiggling back against his chest. She was sore and felt as though her interior organs had been realigned. "I love both Lianim and Qui-Gon, the man and the Jedi."

She closed her eyes in exhaustion within minutes and Qui-Gon reached to cover the both of them with a blanket. He ran his hands through her hair with a smile of satisfaction and love. "And I love the woman and the Jedi. Come the hells of Naboo, or the tides of Oceanius, we will be together."